Getting a leg wrapped up in your riser during deployment is definitely up there on the ooooohhh fuuuucckk list. Lets just say that the six-hundred-and-something square feet of trailing fabric probably wasnt making this guy feel all warm and fuzzy inside -- but a clean pair of underwear sure would.

When you see 15 other parachutes opening, maybe it's time to pull. Just a suggestion. Back tracking for 25 seconds and no alti check?? I call brain malfunction on this one, or maybe he just fell asleep, but he just keeps tracking on. And on. And on. All the way down to nearly 750ft, resulting in a two-out and crash landing. P.S. Darwin says "Hi."

Here's a parachute malfunction without the "freakout." A line over can really mess up your day (or was that a tension knot?), but Johnny Nashville Havron seems pretty cool about the situation -- especially considering this might be his first cutaway. He fights it. He gives it the one-finger salute. He fights it some more. But sometimes youve just got to accept defeat. Pull right, pull left and hello reserve. Beer!

Sometimes when a situation takes a downward spiral, youve got to take matters into your own hands. One of these skydiving instructors keeps his hands on the student. Good call. The other instructor takes a set of lines to the face instead. Not such a good call.

This 30-way formation skydive became a 29-way after a premature deployment right after exiting the lead plane. He didn't have a chance to wave off, so his friend waved off for him. Well, it was more like a wave goodbye, but it's the thought that counts.

How about a sketchy bag lock malfunction on a tandem jump? No thanks! This is a mess from the very first line stow -- such is the brilliance of hindsight (and slow motion). Who else is thanking their lucky socks that theyve never pitched a reserve on their back with someone strapped to their chest? Whew! But a nice clean chop is the final result. Good work sir, good work.

Ever try to get down to a formation with your d-bag and lines bouncing around? Umm, that's called a horseshoe and, contrary to Irish folklore, a horseshoe while skydiving is NOT lucky -- it's a malfunction! The key is to ignore the malfunction and arch harder. Oh, and dodge your friend who's trying to dump you out. Or maybe he was trying to dock -- its somewhat unclear. Lol. But at least they got a nice 4-way after he deployed, and everyone reached the ground safely.

Cutting away from line twists: 1 case of beer. Low cutaway: 2 cases of beer. Landing in a vineyard under a spinning reserve and living to post the video on ILS: Priceless.

It's been a while since I've posted a "screamer." This girl has more than just second thoughts before her first tandem; she sounds like a victim being tortured in a horror movie. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda feel bad for her, but I also laughed out loud. Does that make me a horrible person?

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